Random Burst of Writing

So I was just getting on the internet and saw the layout that I have set for my default internet page and suddenly had this random urge to write something so I pulled up a word document and just wrote for like fifteen or twenty minutes and this is what came of it....

There is something about a kiss. Something that can change your life forever. Such a simple thing as pressing your lips against another’s. It’s strange how we go throughout our whole lives searching for that “right” kiss. What exactly is the right kiss? What makes that kiss different from any of the others? It’s the same thing. Your lips against theirs. Yes, some may be better kissers than others, but that doesn’t mean that kiss is the “right” one. It’s funny how easily you can be deceived by a kiss. You can think it felt “right,” but then you are hurt and broken by that very “right” person. How are you supposed to know that you aren’t being deceived? That it’s not just your own longing that is causing you to think it is right? That you are not just in love with the idea of being in love? So many thoughts race through my head as I am here with you…and you are moving closer…My heart beats faster until it becomes almost a purr. Why am I letting you get so close and not stopping you? I’ve been hurt so many times before. Why am I so gullible? Yet I do not move. Did I just move closer to you too? Oh crap I just looked at your lips. Focus now. Back on your eyes. That’s it. How do I know these feelings aren’t just fake and brought out because of my own longing? Is this love? Or is it simply lust? I frown slightly. You seem to notice. Why is this moment going so slow? Crap I just looked at your lips again! You notice the slight flicker of my eyes and I can just see the laughter in your eyes now. Are you mocking me? Hmmmm…you are even closer now. Just a tiny lift of my chin would put our lips together. I hesitate. I’m terrified. I know you want more from me than I can give right now. I’m scared. What if I really don’t love you? What if this was all just a fantasy in my mind? Am I willing to give in and kiss you? If I do, I am going to be so deeply attached that if you reject me, I will die inside. Is time even moving forward? It doesn’t seem like it. I look into your eyes again. Oh those eyes…I think I’m drowning in your eyes. I take a deep breath. I think I am drowning. I need CPR. Something drives me to lift my chin and our lips meet. I’m shocked at myself. What am I doing?! Pull away! Why am I kissing you?! I can’t believe myself! I scream at myself in my mind to stop. But I don’t. I wonder why I am in this position right now. Oh yeah, it’s because… (the words slip out of my mouth in a whisper) …“I love you.”